When Elizabeth died unexpectedly in May 2024, farewelling her with a traditional funeral service followed by a wake was not the right option at that time for her family or her friends.
Elizabeth is survived by her two sisters, Irene (who lives in Melbourne) and Margaret (who lives in Sydney), as well as her nephews and nieces.
We spoke to her youngest sister, Margaret, to find out more about the story of Elizabeth and how Karin Slade helped Elizabeth’s family to farewell her in a personal and meaningful way with a direct cremation followed by an intimate gathering at the family home she grew up in.
Elizabeth lived a full and independent life right up until her unexpected death
“When Elzabeth was 50 she went on a bus trip and met and fell in love with a widower called Bruce. After they married they moved to Narrabeen and then after our father died Elizabeth and Bruce bought the family home in which she had grown up.
“They lived there happily for many years until Bruce eventually succumbed to dementia and sadly passed away. However, Elizabeth also eventually succumbed to dementia and with home care people coming to help her Elizabeth remained living in her home at Collaroy.
“Although Elizabeth had recovered from two bouts of cancer in her younger years, she had recently developed cancer nodules on her lungs that were monitored regularly. In the weeks before her death Elizabeth visited her doctor about problems she had developed with her breathing and he sent her to have a lung x-ray assuming she had a lung infection.
“The next week she visited her lung specialist for her usual check-up. He checked her lungs and the results of tests done before her appointment and immediately referred her for assessment for palliative care.
“On Monday she was assessed, Tuesday she went into palliative care and my sister died just a week and a half later on 23rd May at the age of 86.
“After living such a full and independent life right to the end and beating cancer not once, but twice, Elizabeth’s sudden death came as quite a shock to us all.”
Why Elizabeth’s family decided on a direct cremation
“Elizabeth had specified in her will that she wanted to be cremated,” confirms Margaret, “however holding a traditional funeral followed by a cremation just wasn’t going to be an option for our family.
“Bruce’s son from his first marriage, Bruce junior; our sister, Irene; Irene’s son, Thomas; and my three children all lived interstate and overseas and were unable for various reasons to come to Sydney for a funeral service.
“As Bruce had been farewelled with a private cremation, this option really made sense. We also had a time restriction to remove Elizabeth from the palliative care facility so we decided to have a private cremation followed by an intimate farewell at a later time when family members, neighbours and friends were able to attend.”
Karin was easy to talk to and she arranged everything for us
“When I Googled local funeral directors to see who offered private cremations I found Karin Slade, owner of Funerals By Design,’ says Margaret.
“I liked the look and the feel of her website, her services were reasonably priced and when I rang Karin she was friendly, easy to talk to and she arranged all of the necessary forms for us.
“Through the entire process Katin was always happy to answer any questions and was good company over the phone. She even picked up Elizabeth’s ashes for us from the crematorium.
“As Karin is also a wake cater with her company Heavenly Catering, so we asked her to organise a small get together for us to farewell Elizabeth with her friends and neighbours in the backyard of the family home at Collaroy.”
A meaningful and intimate gathering to farewell Elizabeth in her family home
Elizabeth, Margaret and Irene all grew up in Collaroy in the same family home that Elzabeth ended up purchasing and living in the final years of her life, so this home and the local neighbourhood were a big part of Elizabeth’s life.
“We left notes for all neighbours as Elizabeth loved interacting with her neighbours,” explains Margaret.
“My sister always walked twice a day, every day, and she spoke to all of her neighbours even when she didn’t remember their names at the end.”
“She had minded her neighbours’ dog, had cups of tea with neighbours, attended street functions and one of her neighbours made chocolates for her. They watched over her and sometimes dropped off meals for her.
“Karin was more than happy to host Elizabeth’s farewell at our family home which was very important for our family as it was such a meaningful location to farewell Elizabeth.”
Heavenly Catering supplied everything we needed and served the foods Elizabeth loved
“Heavenly Catering supplied all of the equipment we needed: chairs, tablecloths, glasses and everything! Karin and her chef fed, served and cleaned up everything for us. We didn’t have to do anything.
“While we were planning the event Karin asked us what foods Elizabeth had particularly enjoyed and so she included an amazing selection of chocolate desserts as Elizabeth always has a soft spot for chocolate.
“We weren’t sure just how many people would attend, however there was plenty of food and it was delicious.
Elizabeth’s knitting also featured on the memorial table
“Karin also helped us to create a memorial table that had Elizabeth’s ashes, photos, flowers, and a basket of toys Elizabeth had knitted.
“My sister was a fabulous knitter and a keen member of the Soroptimist International Foundation, a global volunteer movement that works together to transform the lives of women and girls. She and Bruce even went over to the UK for their international conference.
“Elizabeth knitted cardigans for relatives and kids, Santa Claus toys and dolls, raising money for the Soroptimist tables at the Corso by selling her knitting. At the very end she found it difficult to knit due to her dementia.
“A very special moment for me was Karin bringing out the basket with Elizabeth’s knitting while I was speaking at the get together.”
Nothing was too much trouble for Karin
“Whenever I was upset during Elizabeth’s farewell, Karin would give me a hug. She was such a calming good influence.
“Her catering equipment and services made it possible for us to host Elizabeth’s farewell at the family home, which was such a special and meaningful place and also easy for all neighbours, who could simply walk to the house.
“Both as a funeral director and a wake caterer, Karin helped our family farewell my sister, Elizabeth, in a very meaningful way with a direct cremation and an intimate gathering in her family home.
“Nothing was too much trouble for Karin!”