When Nick and Ben Riley lost their beloved mother, Carol Barbara Riley — poignantly on her father’s birthday — they wanted to honour her in a way that celebrated her life.
Nick and Ben knew instinctively that her farewell had to be different. Not a formal, sombre funeral, but rather a celebration of everything Carol loved: family, food, friendship, flowers, and nature.
As they began planning a farewell that would truly reflect who their mum was, a family friend recommended they contact Karin Slade at Funerals By Design.
From the very first conversation, Karin’s warmth, honesty, and calming presence made an immediate difference.
Creating a celebration that “felt like Mum”
Carol, known for her caring nature, loyalty, and love of cooking and family traditions, had built a beautiful life rooted in love, kindness, and connection.
Having moved to Australia from the UK in 1987, she nurtured lifelong friendships, especially with her close friend Penny, with whom she had enjoyed regular swims at the Bilgola Pool.
“Together with Karin,” explains Nick, “ We decided to hold Mum’s life celebration at Bilgola Surf Club, a venue filled with natural light and ocean views.
“It was the perfect choice: Mum had always loved nature, flowers, and the beach, and she had swum at the nearby Bilgola Pool for over 35 years.”
Helping focus the day around what mattered most
Nick and Ben were clear about the way they wanted to farewell their mum. They wanted a relaxed, informal gathering that reflected Carol’s spirit.
“Mum was a caring, nurturing, and selfless woman. Originally from the UK, she had built a vibrant, full life in Australia after moving here in 1987 with Dad.”
“Mum originally worked at a bank in the UK and then stopped working at 25 to look after us while we were growing up , eventually re-entering the workforce when she was 51. She became the ‘office culture manager’ and was a mother figure and counsellor to her many workmates.
“She was deeply loyal to her family and friends, the kind of woman who sent handwritten cards, baked pastries and buns, and always gathered loved ones together around a table laden with delicious food — especially her famous English roast with Yorkshire pudding and fresh bread.”
“Karin helped focus the day around what mattered most — beautiful food (a nod to Carol’s love of preparing feasts, especially English roasts and baked treats), vibrant flowers, meaningful photos, and heartfelt speeches.”
“A highlight of the day was the beautiful table set with flowers, a generous grazing spread of cheeses and fruit (one of Carol’s favourites), and personal mementos.”
Special touches to personalise the day
Karin suggested creating a printed photo collage, encouraging impromptu story-sharing among family and friends. Technology was deliberately kept out — everything was tangible, warm, and inviting, just like Carol would have wanted.
Nick and Ben gave moving speeches with the ocean waves crashing in the background — a perfect soundtrack to a life so deeply loved.
Some of the other personal touches included:
Rose Quartz Gifts: Guests were given rose quartz tumble stones in baby pink velvet bags, representing love and peace — two qualities Carol embodied.
Pink and Purple Decorations: Soft baby pink and purple accents featured throughout the decor — Carol’s favourite colours.
Beautiful Floral Arrangements: An abundance of flowers created a relaxed, welcoming atmosphere that felt vibrant and natural, just like Carol.
Fabulous Food: A generous grazing table of cheeses, fruits, and delicious platters paid tribute to Carol’s love of food and her passion for bringing people together around meals.
Printed Photos: Nick and Ben decided to develop and print out physical photos rather than rely on screens. The tangible photo displays sparked spontaneous stories, laughter, and memories — creating a deeply personal and communal experience.
Moving Music: With the sound of the Bilgola waves in the background, Nick and Ben gave heartfelt speeches. Ben also played a song on his guitar, bringing a gentle, emotional close to the ceremony.
An Open Fire: The Bilgola Surf Club has a fireplace that reminded Nick and Ben of childhood visits to their Nana and Pop’s home in the UK (Carol’s parents) where they would always have an open fire.
Thoughtful guidance and gentle support throughout the entire process and across two continents
Karin supported Nick and Ben through every step of organising Carol’s celebration of life, — from facilitating the cremation arrangements to helping inspect and confirm Bilgola Surf Club as the perfect venue to organising the celebration of life and even helping facilitate taking Carol’s ashes back to the UK.
“Karin’s motherly warmth, intuition, and experience made all the difference,” says Nick.
“She gently prompted decisions when needed, liaised with the venue, arranged beautiful options for Mum’s urn and even took candid photos on the day — understanding that we wanted to be present with our family and friends without worrying about logistics.”
Thanks to Karin’s support — including careful handling of Carol’s ashes and documentation for travel — Nick and Ben were able to bring Carol’s memory to life across two continents. Following the Australian celebration, Nick and Ben carried Carol’s ashes back to the UK.
“Karin also helped us to select an urn — a delicate baby pink and silver urn that could hold a small candle — and ensured it met overseas travel regulations so we could take Mum’s ashes to the UK for a second celebration with her family living over there.”
There, Nick and Ben recreated a similar tribute with family: gathering by a roaring fire (inspired by their childhood memories and Carol’s English heritage), surrounded by flowers, photos, and traditional British food. Once again, music, warmth, and storytelling were at the heart.
Helping create a beautiful farewell without unnecessary expense
“Right from the start, Karin was completely transparent about costs, helping us to avoid unnecessary expenses and ensuring that the money was spent thoughtfully, without any pressure or upselling.
“Importantly, she guided us honestly about where we could save money, helping us to create a beautiful farewell without unnecessary expense — something we greatly valued.
“She made sure everything ran smoothly, facilitated all the cremation arrangements and guided us through the necessary paperwork, making the formal side as stress-free as possible.”
Making a profoundly difficult time easier with thoughtfulness, experience, and genuine care
At every step, Karin made a profoundly difficult time easier with her thoughtfulness, experience, and genuine care. Nick and Ben felt fully supported, never pressured, and always heard.
“Karin was so warm, friendly and supportive, it was like having another family member there. Karin has such a ‘motherly’ presence — someone who simply understood what we needed, even before we did.
“It was our first time organising a farewell. Having Karin there, knowing she had both professional and personal experience, made all the difference. She helped us honour Mum exactly as she deserved — with love, dignity, and warmth.
“She knew when to guide us and when to let us take the lead. Everything she did made a tough time easier — and made the day feel exactly like Mum.
“We’ll always be grateful.”
