A Fitting Farewell For Jim

“We knew we wanted an event that was true to Jim and Davidson Park under Roseville Bridge had significance for our family

“Until we spoke to Karin we didn’t realise we could even hold Jim’s funeral there!”

It was while attending a funeral at Freshwater Surf Club in 2021 that Jacinta King first came across Funeral By Design’s founder, Karin Slade,…and it completely changed Jacinta’s view of the funeral industry and how a funeral could be done.

“Karin was the funeral director and the wake caterer for the funeral of Gary, who was my friend’s brother. Gary’s funeral was the first funeral I’d been to that really reflected the personality of the person who had died,” says Jacinta. “It didn’t feel rushed or formulaic. And it was held at a place that was meaningful to him and his family.”

“I’d always remembered Karin and just how special Gary’s funeral was, so when my father-in-law, James (Jim) King, passed away in June this year and his widow, Angela (my mother-in-law), asked me to organise the funeral service and the wake, I knew exactly who to call.”

Time to breathe and time to think

“Sadly, Jim and Angela are at that stage of their life where they have attended a lot of funerals of their friends and family. Based on their past experience, Angela assumed that for Jim’s funeral we would get in touch with one of the big name funeral homes and book in the service at a time slot that was allocated to us at the local crematorium.

“Like most people, Angela did not realise we had another, better option, until I mentioned Karin and the funeral I’d attended earlier in the year.

“We decided to ring Karin instead and she was incredibly impressive right from the start. The first thing she said to us was to just stop, take a breath and take the time to grieve. Karin left us to regroup and just be with each other for 48 hours while she went ahead and started to sort all of the legal paperwork we needed and begin to organise the funeral.

“We originally rang Karin on the Friday and then she came to see us on the Sunday –  there was no problem or extra charge because it was the weekend. She also brought Sarah Tolmie, an incredible funeral celebrant, with her and they both took the time to listen to us, learn about who Jim was and find out just how we wanted to celebrate Jim’s life.”

Commitment to allow something different and personal

When Jacinta, Angela and the family began discussing the funeral and wake arrangements with Karin and Sarah, at first the conversation went down the track of an old school, traditional funeral, however, Karin had suggestions of ways to make it more personal that the family hadn’t even realised were possible.

“Because Karin had given us the headspace and the time to think, we were able to take on board what she was suggesting,” says Jacinta. “Both Karin and Sarah listened to what we wanted and they understood how to make it happen.

“We knew we wanted an event that was true to Jim and Davidson Park under Roseville Bridge had significance for our family. It was the special place we always went for family get-togethers and picnics – my son, Harrison, remembers Pop (Jim) helping him after he stepped on some oyster shells there.

“Until we spoke to Karin we didn’t realise we could even hold Jim’s funeral there!”

Always available and followed through on everything

“Karin and Sarah were always available, which was incredibly impressive and also made the process so much easier — sometimes you need an answer now, not in an hour.

“Karin just made everything about the organisation process so easy because she truly thought of everything. As we were having the funeral outside, she also organised Forestville Memorial Hall as a backup, even getting it Covid cleaned for us.

“Being able to have the funeral and the wake in the one location organised by the one person was so important – it makes it so much easier for everyone. Karin has a mobile catering trailer with gas, so catering for an outside event is easy. She also organised the hire of the marques, the chairs, the glassware, the china and the PA system, as well as the live streaming, cooking all the food, providing the beverages and our celebrant, Sarah.

“There was so much work behind the scenes…Karin did absolutely everything for us.”

Couldn’t fault the compassion and the professionalism

“Sarah, the celebrant, is also an angel —  what an incredible team, they work so well together!

“The location was incredible and it turned out to be such a beautiful day for something so sad. Karin had helped us choose an amazing coffin and it was decorated with beautiful flowers.

“The catering van and the food and drink was set up off to one side so it didn’t take away from the view over the coffin to the water behind it and the marques did not dominate the view either – they were soft and subtle.

“The atmosphere was peaceful and calm…there was a real softness, we were able to slow things down because we knew we didn’t have to be rushed through a crematorium and we were not down to checking the minutes left.

“During the service Sarah encouraged us to have an open mike, even though we were worried about people waffling on, but it was actually one of the best parts of the funeral service. People later told us that they wished they had got up and spoken. The stories were respectful and grateful and we learned many things of significance from different parts of Jim’s life.

“I was very concerned about the PA system working properly outside and worried that we wouldn’t be heard. These concerns were also shared by others, however the PA system was just perfect and everyone commented on how well it worked and how great the sound was.”

Professional funeral livestream included everyone

“As funeral numbers were capped at 100 at the time of the funeral and there were many people from interstate and overseas who couldn’t be there, Karin organised a professional livestream.

“Everyone who watched the livestream said they felt like they were there – they had never seen anything like it.

“Jim and Angela are part of the community in Killarney Heights.  They have lived in the area for 55 years and are always at the dog park, the local shops…the whole community is part of the family.

“People who couldn’t come to the funeral included this community in Killarney Heights, as well as close family and friends and the professional livestream let them all be a part of the service.”

Food that is meaningful and caters to dietary requirements

“Karin was more than happy to cater for our dietary requirements, as well as including food that Jim loved. The wake menu included handmade Thai Fish cakes, because they were my husband, Scott’s, favourite and we are pescatarian. Karin also made a special dish that Angela requested, delicious salmon and avocado tarts.”

“We weren’t planning on having dessert but Karin suggested a mini dessert tray to go with the tea and coffee and it was simply divine. Her sweets platter was full of delicious morsels, including a dessert called a chocolate orgasm.  Angela’s friends were laughing as they all took seconds and said ‘I’ve just had a double orgasm’ –  it was some much needed light relief on what could have been such a sober occasion.”

“There was more than enough to drink and eat and every time you looked around the staff were there to serve you.”

Cultural changers who are making a difference in people’s lives

“Karin and Sarah have totally changed my whole view of how funerals can be done. I’ve also had so much feedback from everyone who was there in person or watched the livestream or even used the link to watch the funeral later.

“Prior to the funeral, people were questioning our choice of outdoor location – now they are telling me it has totally changed their view on what a funeral looks like.

“Karin and Sarah are true cultural changers and forward thinkers…they are “can do women” who listen and they act. 

“After the funeral I said to Karin and Sarah, ‘Know what you’ve done here today. You’ve really made a difference to everybody who is here and you should be proud of that.’

“This is how we have to do funerals.”

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