When Joan Gauld died in July 2024, her daughter Jen had only been to two funerals before and she didn’t realise it was possible to personalise a funeral and a wake.
However, after Karin Slade from Funerals By Design and Heavenly Catering was recommended to her by a friend, Jen was relieved to discover she could farewell her mum in the way she would have wanted to be farewelled.
Jen explains how Karin made the entire funeral and wake planning process easy and seamless, not only going above and beyond to support Jen and her family in their time of grief, but continuing to reach out and support them after the event.
Mum lived with a diagnosis of early onset dementia
“My mum was incredibly kind and never had a bad word to say about anyone, “ says Jen. “She was a beautiful, fancy dresser, with ‘legs for days’.”
“She really was the best mum ever and it was a terrible shock when she was sadly diagnosed with early onset dementia at the age of 62.
“Mum had 5 years of living at home with my dad in their home in Davidson while she was still aware of her disease, however we eventually had to move her into Group Homes Australia (GHA) dementia care home in St Ives at the age of 69.
“I was so grateful she was able to be there throughout my whole pregnancy and lucid enough to see my son being born. She asked me about my pregnancy every single day.
“Her first granddaughter (my brother’s daughter) was born a year after my son, however sadly Mum was not really aware enough by this stage to understand she had a granddaughter as well. I’m sure that being in lockdown during Covid really had a big impact on Mum’s decline as well as other patients who were suffering from dementia.
“Mum eventually died at the age of 71, three years after she had moved into the dementia care home. She had lived with early onset dementia for nine years.”
Mum wanted her funeral to be uplifting and a celebration of the good times we shared
“We didn’t specifically discuss Mum’s funeral and wake plans with her as she had gone into a depression about her dementia diagnosis and so talking about her funeral would have been very traumatic for her.
“However, she had previously discussed her wishes to be cremated with Dad and we knew exactly what Mum loved and would have wanted. Mum was religious, but we also knew she would also have wanted her funeral to be uplifting and for us to remember the good things and celebrate the good times we shared with her.
“Even though we had not discussed funeral and wake plans with Mum, we actually started thinking about the funeral director we would use when she moved into the dementia care home as they needed us to nominate a funeral director they could contact in case of death.
“Karin was recommended to us by my friend Zara, who had previously used Karin for catering and had heard that Karin was now also a funeral director.
“When we met Karin at the surf club, she was so like my mum! We also discovered we had a lot of mutual connections and Karin immediately became a friend.”
Karin made the entire experience seamless as there were no rigid structure or rules
“About three weeks before she died, Mum got pneumonia and she hadn’t responded to the antibiotics she was administered. Thinking this might be the end, I called Karin and she was so incredibly supportive.
“Mum eventually pulled through her bout of pneumonia, however because we had started the funeral planning process before she passed it made the whole process easier when she eventually did go, three weeks later.
“Karin really made the entire experience so seamless as she listened to us and there was no rigid structure and no rules. I had only been to two funerals before so I didn’t realise it was possible to personalise a funeral and a wake in the way that Karin and the Funerals By Design team do.
“It made us so happy we could farewell Mum in the way she would have wanted to be farewelled.’
Bilgola Surf Life Saving Club was the perfect venue for Mum’s funeral and wake
“Karin suggested Bilgola Surf Club as a venue and it was absolutely perfect as Mum and Dad loved the beach, having coffee and exploring new places to have coffee. Dad grew up on the beaches and he had been a Newport SCC member.
“Karin’s staff were absolutely phenomenal and they made the day perfect—I can’t thank Karin and her Funerals By Design/Heavenly Catering team enough.
“There was not a single thing I would change about the day. However, my only regret was that I didn’t take any photos myself as I was focused on being in the moment. Luckily Karin and her team took plenty of photos.
“We also live streamed the funeral too as we didn’t want to have our little ones there, distracting us from being present in the moment. They were too young to understand what was going on anyway.
“Karin put us in contact with Steve who did an amazing job organising the audiovisual and livestreaming the funeral so we could show Mum’s grandkids later on at a time when they could understand.”
There were over 100 people at Mum’s funeral
“We were so touched that there were over 100 people at her funeral. We were only expecting maybe 60-80 people but luckily Karin bought extra chairs.
“The religious part of the funeral was beautifully conducted by Sara Tolmie, the celebrant Karin often works with.
“The surf club looked so beautiful. We had a screen with Mum’s photo, a photo montage and a memory book people could write in. There was a cross hanging on green grass with flowers and a cremation box instead of a coffin as we had a non-attendance cremation before the service.
“My friend is a florist and she created incredible floral arrangements using Mum’s favourite coloured flowers of purples and pinks, adding in some reds and yellows.”
Karin hires the right kind of people – good and caring
“The tables with champagne glasses were beautifully decorated and straight after the ceremony we raised our glasses and had a ‘cheers’ for Mum.
“At every stage of the day the wait staff were checking I was okay. Karin hires the right kind of people; people who are genuine and caring, always going above and beyond.
“Karin had asked me if there were any special foods Mum enjoyed that we would like to serve on the day, however Mum wasn’t a big foodie. She was a light eater as she was very slim and wanted to maintain her figure.
“As one of Mum’s best friends said to me, your mum would have just liked to make people happy. She would prefer the majority of people to feel comfortable and eat what they enjoy so Karin served lots of yummy finger foods that were easy to eat, followed by delicious desserts.
“When I went to an intuitive psychic after the event, she told me that my mum had said to her, ‘thanks for caring for her so well, she loved the send off”!”
Karin’s kindness, compassion and level of care is extraordinary
“Nothing is ever too much trouble with Karin and she never missed a phone call. If she was on the phone she would always ring me back as soon as she could.
“During the period of time I was organising Mum’s farewell I was having a really difficult time with my four-year old. When I’d ring Karin she was always just so supportive, kind and understanding.
“No matter the situation Karin has an ability to take the stress off you and nothing is ever too much trouble. She is always asking what she can do to help.
“Months after the funeral Karin is still actively reaching out to our family. She likes to follow up and continues to call Dad and she also calls me to check in and see how we are.
“We have a strong emotional connection, share a mutual trust and have become true friends.
“What really sets Karin apart from others is her kindness, her care and her connection to people. Karin really is a unicorn and an angel!”
